Local Domestic Abuse Partnership Board

If you are in danger, call 999 - if you are unable to speak then dial 55 to be connected to the Police

Local services

Domestic Abuse – the services below support men and women subjected to abuse from all communities. Some will also support Children.  If you unsure of which service is the right service call who you feel fits best and they will assess and signpost/refer if you need a different service.

Shropshire Domestic Abuse Service - if you need to speak to someone in person please look at their drop in timetable here - Drop in service  Shropshire Domestic Abuse Service (Men, Women and Children) Open 9am-6pm Mon-Fri.

Women's Aid Local - 0800 783 1359- Shropshire and Herefordshire - West Mercia Women's Aid (Men, Women and Children) 24Hr.

These services can offer a range of support: independent, confidential, listening service to anyone affected by domestic abuse. They are free impartial services giving practical help, emotional support, as well as providing information on a wide range of issues including housing, benefits, safety planning and the needs of children affected by domestic abuse. They can assist with accessing refuge accommodation if you need to leave your home to keep yourself safe. Shropshire Domestic abuse outreach services provide support to any victim of domestic abuse regardless of age, gender, sexuality, or race.

Help for those using harmful behaviours

Local

Cranstoun - West Mercia Domestic Abuse Services - Cranstoun Call - 01905 917450

National

Respect - Charity to Help Domestic Abuse Perpetrators | Respect Phoneline UK or call 0808 8024 040.

Social care

Adult social care and safeguarding concerns – 0345 678 9044- Adult social care | Shropshire Council

Children safeguarding concerns (FPOC)– 0345 678 9021- Safeguarding | Shropshire Council

Early help - Early help | Shropshire Council- Access support in your community. Call First Point of Contact 0345 6789021, Option 2 for Early Help and Support Team (EHAST). Email the Family Information Service - shropshireFIS@shropshire.gov.uk

Mental Health-  

Mental Health Services - NHS Shropshire, Telford and Wrekin

Talking Therapies - Shropshire, Telford and Wrekin Talking Therapies :: Midlands Partnership University NHS Foundation Trust

Mental Health Services – Shropshire Mental Health Support 01743 368 647

Young people - BeeU :: Midlands Partnership University NHS Foundation Trust

National support service that may be useful.

National domestic abuse helpline – 0808 2000 247

For Galop - the National LGBTQ+ Experiencing Domestic Abuse Helpline - 0800 999 5428

For the Men's Advice Line - 0808 801 0327

For the West Mercia Domestic Abuse Helpline - 0800 7831 359 (24 hours)

For the Respect Helpline (for anyone worried they may be harming someone else) - 0808 802 4040

Karma Nirvana – 0800 5999 247

Forced marriage Unit 020 7008 0151 fmu@fcdo.gov.uk

We are SafeLives - Ending domestic abuse

The Deaf health charity - SignHealth

Domestic abuse is the physical, emotional, verbal, sexual or financial abuse of one person by another with whom they have or have had an intimate or family-type relationship. It arises from the misuse of power and control by one person over another. It is rarely a one-off event, but tends to escalate in frequency and severity over time.

Coercive control

Domestic abuse doesn't always involve physical violence. Sustained controlling behaviour and emotional pressure are also forms of abuse. Regularly intimidating, bullying, criticising or threatening a partner are all forms of what is called 'coercive control'.

Physical abuse can include:

• Slapping, punching, pinching, beating or kicking
• Assault with a weapon
• Strangulation
• Suffocation
• Destroying your possessions

Emotional abuse can include things such as:

• Pressure tactics and sulking
• Constant criticism and being told that you are useless, ugly or worthless
• Threats to kill or harm you, your children or your pets or threats to take the children away or report you to Children's Services
• Threats to commit suicide
• Intimidation, bullying or embarrassing you in public
• Being locked in or kept in isolation away from family and friends
• Not being allowed money, food, sleep or freedom
• Being controlled
• Stalking and harassing you especially after separation

Verbal abuse can include:

• Being called names
• Being constantly shouted at
• Making threats

Sexual abuse can include being:

• Forced to have sex against your will
• Made to perform acts that you are not happy with
• Forced to watch or make pornography or take pornographic pictures
• Forced to have sex with or in front of other people
• Degraded on the basis of your sexual orientation

Economic abuse can include:

• Forcing you to take out loans or debts
• Withholding money
• Forcing you to beg for money- borrowing from friends family and not paying back.
• Not allowing you to earn your own money or have access to joint accounts
• Making you account for any money spent – for example by producing receipts or bills
• Constant monitoring or questioning of your finance

The lists above are not exhaustive but just a few of the ways in which some people are affected by domestic abuse.

Abuse in the home is more widespread than you think. It affects men and women of all ages, ethnicities, orientations and income levels, regardless of ability. It is not easy to accept that a loved one can behave so aggressively and because you cannot explain the behaviour, you assume that it is your fault. You are not to blame for your partner's behaviour.

Everyone has the right to live life free from threats, violence and abuse and help is available. You are not alone.

If you are living in an abusive relationship and unable to leave below is some advice for you continue to keep as safe as you. You may not be able to stop the abuse, but you may be able to minimise the risk to yourself and your children.

Safety tips for those living in abusive relationships.

• Plan an escape route from every room in the house.
• Put your handbag, keys and money in a safe accessible place so that they can be grabbed in a hurry.
• If possible, move to a safer room when you anticipate violence/conflict - avoid the kitchen or bathroom where there may be items that can be used as weapons and hard surfaces.
• Let friends/neighbours that you trust know about your situation and ask them to call the police if they hear suspicious noises.
• Teach your children if and when appropriate to call for help. They should never use a phone in front of the abuser as this may endanger them further.
• Talk to children about what is happening and encourage them to call for help and not to intervene.
• Create code words with family, friends and children so that they know when to call for help and/or leave danger areas.
• Plan where to go in an emergency and have an alternative route.
• Use your judgement of the abuser to protect you and your children. You are in no way colluding with the abuser if you give them what they want in order to protect yourself.
• Keep or learn a list of important phone numbers e.g. police public protection investigation unit, outreach worker, solicitor, doctor, school etc. In an emergency always dial 999.

You may also be able to do some of the following

• Keep a record of their abuse behaviour to support any future action, civil or criminal. Log incidents with the police even if you do not wish to press charges at present.
• Increase your financial independence by opening a separate bank account or transferring your money including benefits into your name.
• Seek legal advice some solicitors offer an initial free appointment.
• Keep important documents in a safe place, either hidden in the home or at a friend or relative's house for example birth/marriage certificates, national insurance card, passport, driving licence. You may also want to hide items that have a sentimental value to you or your children.

Safety planning for leaving an abusive relationship.

You may not feel able to leave immediately, but you can plan for leaving so that you are prepared if an emergency does arise. Leaving is often the most dangerous time. To increase your safety, you can:

• Ensure that all important documents are kept together, including items of sentimental value, so they can be grabbed in a hurry.
• Put aside money for travel and other expenses.
• Only tell people you trust where you are or will be. Lie if you have to - this will protect them and you.

Things to take with you

• Identification- passport, birth/marriage certificate, national insurance number, driving licence.
• Money- cheque book, bank cards, credit cards, benefit books.
• Medical - prescribed medicines, prescriptions, medical cards, vaccination certificates.
• Legal - injunction/divorce papers, mortgage documents.
• Special Items – child's favourite toy, photos, jewellery.

Safety once the relationship has ended.

Unfortunately, abuse may not end even when you or your partner has left the shared home. In order to increase your safety, you can:

• Let trusted friends and neighbours know that you are no longer together and that they should call the police if they see your partner trying to get into the house.
• Change the locks on your doors, ensure that doors and windows are as secure as possible and use the chain when answering the door.
• More expensive options are to install security lighting, which switches on when someone approaches, and burglar alarms.

For information on making security adaptations to your home, please speak to our specialist domestic abuse outreach services about the Sanctuary Scheme

• Tell people who look after your children - for example teachers - which people have permission to collect them and if your ex-partner is not permitted to do so.
• Change your phone number and at work ask people to screen your calls.
• Change your shopping, travel, and social habits. For example, shop elsewhere and at different times and take a different route home.

If you feel threatened at any time call 999

Further information about dealing with safety planning and harassment can be found in The Survivors Handbook, produced by Women's Aid. Would we want any other links here or stick with these.

For friends and family, it can be really challenging supporting someone who is in a domestic abuse relationship. Find out how you can help.

Listen

• Give the time and space to talk.
• Reassure them that you believe what they are saying.
• Take care not to blame them.
• Reassure them they are not alone and there are many others in the same situation.
• Try not to push them to go into more detail than they feel ready to talk about.
• Try not to tell them what you think/believe is happening to them this could push them away.
• If they are struggling to see what is happening – just be there when you can, gently challenge situations if safe to do so. “I understand what you are saying but no one should be shouted at for the traffic making them late” just to place in their mind those behaviours aren’t reasonable.

Acknowledge

• This is a frightening and difficult situation.
• No-one deserves to be threatened or abused-despite what their abuser might have told them.
• Nothing they can say can justify the abuser's behaviour.

Support

• Encourage them to express their feelings.
• Try not to be judgemental.
• Encourage them to seek help and support via their local (Local DA service link)but don't tell them to leave the relationship if they are not ready to do this. Remember it must be their decision.

Support them to get help

• Encourage them to speak to their local  (Local DA service link)
• Have they suffered physical harm? If so, ask if they wish to attend hospital, or visit their GP and offer to accompany them.
• Help them to report the assault to the police if they choose to do so.
• Encourage them to have their injuries logged in case they need evidence in the future.
• Seek advice on their options.
• Offer to go with them to visit a solicitor.
• Be ready to provide information on organisations that can help.
• Help them to plan safe strategies in case they decide to leave. Let them decide what they think is safe. Remember they know the abuser best.
• Offer the use of your address and/or telephone number for them to receive messages or information.
• Offer to look after an emergency bag as they may urgently need to leave an abusive environment.

Suggested items to be included in an emergency bag

• Financial details for example insurance documents, bank details, credit cards, National Insurance number.
• Medical details and medication (if applicable).
• Documentation, for example passport, birth and marriage certificates, drivers licence (if applicable).
• Basic and essential clothing
• Children's favourite toy or comforter

Take care of yourself too

• Ensure that you do not put yourself in a dangerous situation.
• Do not offer to talk to the abuser about your friend.
• Don't allow yourself to be seen as a threat by the abuser.
• Speak to your local Domestic Abuse service and find out how they can support you.